Live in the Light


 

Sometimes on my daily walk I am lucky enough to find myself in that magical moment between day and night. And on those days, sometimes the moment happens when no car is driving past and no loaded truck heading to a busy day of labor is rattling along the street beside me. Sometimes there are no other walkers within sight. On those days, in that moment, I can feel as if there is nothing between myself and the universe, between myself and God.
As the days of my life seem to add up with ever- increasing speed, I have come to realize that in those moments I can feel a wide range of emotion. If I am weary and discouraged, the moment may send me down a path of regret or disappointment. I see the darkness and think of all that could have been but never was. I am caught up in the gap between who I am and all I intended to be. My mind focuses on all I have lost; people, dreams and opportunities.
But on other days, in that magical moment, I see the light. My day begins with a feeling of awe and wonder and deep joy. I am caught up in a sense of humility at the realization of all I have and all that has been mine to share. My mind focuses on the people, dreams and opportunities that still fill my life with hope and possibility. I am, for that moment, overwhelmed by love.
In days like that, it seems that the darkness and light come together to transform the sky above me into my personal, living, fleeting Sistene Chapel. But instead of depicting the grand narrative of the Bible, I look up and the clouds become images from the story of my one, quiet, tiny life. I see faces of those dear to me who are no longer here, and I remember that they live still. There are scenes of tender moments from across my years where I felt that wonderful sense of being exactly where I should be, doing exactly what I should be doing. My heart overflows as I see those whom I truly love, but even more powerfully, truly love me.
And just as quickly, the earth turns and the moment has passed. But I am changed a little with each experience. Perhaps, for that instant, in some way, it really is just myself and the universe. That thought is beyond me. But I do believe, in a way I cannot explain, that these are moments when there is nothing between myself and God, save for the love that offers me both glimpses of my life. Each offers a different choice of how I will spend this day. Today I choose to live in the light. Today I choose to live in love.
Peace.

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